I want to do my nails

March 6, 2009

Ok – no. I don’t want to do my nails, and no, I’m not gay. So on with the story. 

I  had just gotten out of classes at the resource center and me and hailey and my mom were in the car waiting for Savannah to finish a chem test. The car windows were open.
I’m really bored so I pick up some little sand-paper popsickle stick looking like thing and I try to figure out what it is. Like the name was on the tip of my tounge but I couldn’t get it out! I knew that y’all girls use it for ur nails.

Mom reached out to take the stick. Just as she grabbed it I remembered that it was called a nail filer and those female things use it to file down their nails. I joked (very loudly) “But I want to do my nails!!!”

Just as I said that Leanne walks by the window and hears it and starts laughing like crazy! and then she goes in the resource center and tells everyone in the front room what had happened.

you probably dont care but it was SOO funny if you were there.

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March 2, 2009

Hey guys,

Alright well I’ve got an idear for a story. 

preview

no. I’m not an Athiest. The story is a spiritual thriller where dead people and deamons try to come into our world and take it over.

Yes. I know the first rule is a bit.. err.. corny. Deal with it.

Just read it & tell me vat you think.

More things I hate

February 26, 2009

So earlier this week I was requested by Karmen to write about ‘um’. I decided that there wasn’t much to say about um except that it’s used by a lot of people who don’t have a lot to say. 

So instead I decided to write about things I hate, just because I’m such a negative little hethen who likes putting people down :D. No jk I just hate writting about things I like ’cause there’s no fun in that.

anyways let’s get started.

  • I hate *hate* hate hate looking at the bottoms of peoples feet. Gross. Disgusting. Revolting. So in public if ur wearin fliperfloppers cause it’s the south and that’s just what we do but I’m able to see the bottom part of ur foot I’ll try and ignore it but end up asking you to move it. Leanne can attest to that. 
  • I hate dramaqueens. They’re always so self-centered little brats who think the world evolves around them. Now like I understand a 6 year old dramaqueen, but to be 15 and still act like that is just ridiculous. 
  • Watered down sweet tea. Yeah-that’s gross.. UR IN THE SOUTH! FLAVOR UP UR TEA YOU YANKEES!
  • Oh yeah people who insult u for wearin flip flops in the winter. Like hey listen number 1 this is the south. That’s kinda like what we do. wearing flip-flops in the winter and other such retarted stuff. Number 2 i’m to lazy to tie my shoe, so, well umm deal with it.
  • EWW people who don’t wear deoderent are just, umm, stupid. Let’s leave it at that.
  • LIBERALS!!!!! I HATE LIBERALS!!!! UR AGENDA IS SO TWISTED!! GO DRIVE UR LITTLE ELECTRIC CARS IN FRANCE!!
  • I hate people telling me to do something I’m already doing. I dont hate the people telling, cause then I’d hate a lot of people. I just hate the act of being told something so obvious a baby would know it. 

Yeah so u know writting like “Oh YEAH my life is so hunky dory!” is just so darn annoying. Soooooo instead I write about these stupid things I can’t stand. Feel free to comment (duh.)

The [not] fairness doctrine

February 18, 2009

fairness-doctrine2So what is the fairness doctrine?

Yeah so I’ll tell you what it is in my opinion really quick because I’m pissed and I want to get to the part where I can totally bash this. The Fairness Doctrine is a document that will silence conservative talk-radio. So anything you say against liberals (definition: the selfish butthole pigs running the country) is like, uhh, illegal.
 

Ok. This is the fun part.

Umm, HELLO? Did I miss something back in 2nd grade? Didn’t the pilgrims origanily come to America so that they could have the right to free religoun. And then didn’t we base this country on FREE SPEECH?? And if I’m not mistaken doesn’t the First Amendment to the United States Constitution prohibit the govarnment from making laws that infringe free speech??? Like wow I really must have failed 2nd grade history/social studies or something. SERIOUSLY!

I’m sorry. I’d rather like to know that the idiots running this nation spend my money on making the illegal immigrants feel more at home. Like I can’t really stop it, but at least let me know what y’all are doing with my money. People like Rush Limbaugh, Mike Savage, Mark Levin, are all going to be forced off the radio so that the liberals can spread their lies. 
 

So why do the liberals want this???

hehe. This is juicy. You see the liberals already OWN the media. So a long time ago (like in 2000)  in a far away land called America some liberals (here on dubbed ‘The Buttholes‘) decided that they wanted to take on Talk Radio.

Now each radio station is funded mainly by its advertisers. You see the problem was that the buttholes didn’t have anybody to advertise, because all the advertisers knew that everyone wanted to hear the truth, and NOBODY goes to the buttholes for the truth.

So the buttholes never really got up on their feet. And they decided that all of America must not be allowed to hear the truth. Thus they created The Butthole Fairness Doctrine.

So, the reason liberals want the fairness doctrine is so that we can all be subdued to their lies. Isn’t that just dandy?

 

Closing notes

Oh and if you enjoy my blog you won’t be able to read it, ’cause the libs are also wanting the Fairness Doc to apply to the internet. That’s 2 free peices of duck tape for Dylan!

Yeah listen PLEASE comment but holy crap don’t argue back unless you actually have an argumeant worth my time. Alright?

Michael Phelps

February 11, 2009

So as most of you probably know, the world famous Olympic champion Michael Phelps was caught in a photo on pot.

The photo was taken mid-atunm last year (2008 ) here at University of South Carolina. The county sheriff made a public statement and said he would press charges on Phelps if possible.

he wasn’t kidding, either. The sheriff did some digging and has made 8 arrests. Everyone arrested was in the room when the photo of Phelps using a bong was taken, except for Phelps.

Phelps has made a public apology for his behaviour, and he’s in the photo. ther Sheriff just needs to work a few more things before Phelps is arrested.

Kellogg cereal has dropped their partnership with Phelps and he’s been suspended from the Olympics.

Now here’s what I think. Phelps is a great guy. He is a role model for so many children, young and teens. He showed negative for drug tests during the Olympic games, and this photo was taken after the Olympics. That leads me to believe that Phelps won the Olympic games, had a few months off of training and the media, and in all the relaxing he just kinda screwed up. STILL, that is NO excuse for his behaviour. He’s just let down millions of families and fans who supported him all the way. Still: If my theory is correct, I believe he should be given a second chance.

So he’s lost his partnership with Kellogg, he’s been suspended from the Olympics, and he will most likely pay jailtime.

The most common, looked up to, celebrated athlete on the planet just flushed his courier down the toilet. Sad, isn’t it?

Obama closes GITMO

January 21, 2009

I AM PISSED OFF!

As one of his first orders as Pres. of the US, Barak Obama is ordering the closing of GITMO in one year. So you’re probably wondering, what the heck is GITMO? Gitmo is where all our nice little 9/11, muslim, american hating terrorist friends are being held. President Obama want’s to close it down. Yeah, like let them go. Basicly.

The terrorists will get away without any war-crime charges. Read this article on FOXNEWS to for more and this article to read the 9/11 victim-families reactions.

Oh, also, by the way, now we don’t only pay for our own abortions, but we’re paying for abortions in other countries.

Come on people! Do y’all seriously believe that the world is going to end because we utilize assets (ie factories) we’ve been given?????? ARE YOU REALLY THAT STUPID?

The weatherman can’t even predict tomorrows weather correctly half the time, why should we believe them when they say global warming is going to end the world in 50000 years????? umm,,, stupid. duh.

Seriously. These people can’t even tell us how it will happen! They just say something bad will happen. Sorry – if you want me to believe I need some reliable evidence.

I do agree that oil spills kill fish. duh. I don’t think we should stop using boats.. that’s just dumb. Oil spills are rare. BTW did you know the gov spends more money on animal care than they do on child care? creepy…

AND WHY THE HECK SHOULD WE STOP DRILLING? Do you brainwashed people know how much the economy, and you, relies on oil?

Oh and Al Gore’s wonderful lightbulb invention that was supposed to use less energy.. it umm, uses like the same amount of energy as any lightbulb. The only difference is that it lasts longer.

Two seals were damaged by an oil spill. After they were rescued and the govarnment spent $2000 on each animal, they were released into the wild. A whole crowd of around 100 people were watching and cheering as the seal made their way across the ice to the ocean. Suddenly, just after the seals slid into the water, a whale swam up and ate them both.

Just though that was a funny joke.

Dylan

Our stupid fish with OCD

January 9, 2009

Ok so first off we own a salt water aqarium. It’s pritty wicked. Anyways we’ve got the clown fish from Finding Nemo in our tank (2, actually). They’re a lot more stupid than in the movie. Anyways earlier tonight marlin (one of the clownfish) decided to just go and stare at one of our snales. Below is a video we got.

Anyways it’s weird. Marline will just be swimmin’ around, then he sees the snail. He quickly rushes over and just stares at the snail for like fifteen seconds. Then he’ll go swim around some more. Then he’ll pass the snail again and stare at him. The cycles still going on an hour later. Ok well I’ll shut up and show you the vid. It’s below.

http://www.viddler.com/explore/DylanT/videos/15/

Sorry ’bout the poor quality. Something went wrong while I was uploading it i guess.

embarrassing moments..

January 7, 2009

Yeah so I’m not about to tell you any embarrassing moments. But don’t you just hate it when you think about times when you embarressed yourself so bad. You just kinda wanna slap yourself like a trillion times. I hate that. Just bringing up the subject, i’ve already thought of several embarrassing moments, like where I’ve made myself look like a special kid. I hate that. anyways. You’re probably wondering why I wrote this.. it’s because right now i’m thinking about horrobly embarrassing things and I decided “huh. I’m suffering through this. Maybe if I write about it, all the unfortanate victims who read this will think about their embarrassing moments. Then I won’t be alone.” Yeah.

Ok well I g2g and sneak some leftover holiday pie and bestow upon it the privilege of being my midnight snack. ttyl.

Things I hate updated 2008

December 31, 2008

So incase you were stupid enough to not read title, this post is about things I hate!
So let’s get started.

1. I hate looking at people’s feet. You know like the bottom part that’s all disgusting and stuff. I can’t even stand to have that in my periphials. AHH! HATE IT!

2. I hate it when people ask dumb questions, like “How are you?” when the person who is asking that kinda lives with me. I mean seriously, put the peices together you moron! You live with me!

3. I hate it when people over dramatize something. Like my little sister never stops doing that. “OH MY GOSH IT’S SO CUITE!” seriously, we’ve had the puppy for like three weeks. You should have gotten over how cuite it is.

4. People not flushing the toilet. Lets just not go there. It’s nasty. If you don’t flush you’re disgusting and I will personaly kick you out of my house if you dare not flush here. Case closed. Deal with it.

5. People trying to act funny. Like trying to act funny is annoying, but trying to act funny and failing is so just.. ARGH! I hate that.

6. Endless voicemails from someone. Like I could scroll through my voicemail right now  and I’d here the three same people about sixty times over and over again. I should probably delete some stuff soon…..

7. Girls who are utterly obsessed with themselves. Seriously. This ticks me off! I hate girls who just endlessly talk about themselves and suck the life out of you by asking endless self-pointed questions. ANNOYING! Thank the lord (Thank you, lord) I don’t have any friends like this. Period (just incase some of you [my friends] were wondering.. I’m not talking ’bout any of you)

8. Having to socialize. OMG I hate this. I hate having to be all social and talk with people and etc. This is so annoying. I’m a total party pooper. I’ll go out to a movie with friends but going to a large party I hate! I do like just hanging out with friends in general… but having to actually *socialize* and make new friends and hang out with people I don’t know and even sometimes go to partys with people I do know is something I really hate. I’m not shy, good heavens no, I just hate having to “socialize”.

9. Slow computers. Yeah. I’m so spoiled on this really fast (2.5 gig ram) computer I custom made myself a year ago that I cannot stand to use a slow computer. I’d rather just wait till I can use my own.

10. Paris Hilton. Yeah lets just leave it there. I hate Paris Hilton.So do you. Deep inside you’re saying “WOW HE’S SO BRILLIANT! PARIS HILTON IS A SELF-POINTED BARBY WHO PLAYS IN XXX MOVIES. SHE SHOULD DIE.” Now if you’re not thinking that, nevermind. I won’t waste my time.

11. People who just don’t shut up. Seriously. I’m fine talking on the phone with someone for five hours, but if I’m stuck at you house and you’re talking endlessly about crap I don’t care about, I really don’t want to listen. Go record yourself and listen to it over and over till your satisfied, just please, let me go home… alive.

12. Vegetables. Oh and btw it’s supposed to be pronounced vee-gee-tae-blo. no just joking about the pronunciation. I hope you didn’t believe me. You’d be really stupid if you did, quite frankly.

13. Emails telling me I must forward the email to at least 10 people if I want to go to heaven. Give me a break, seriously! I’m not going to forward some stupid email sent to me by some judgmental person who calls himself a christian. Sorry. If God wants me to send a message I think that the bush’s in my yard will burn before he uses a computer. Hope I didnt offend anyone. If I did, deal with it.

So if you disagreed with anything I said here, deal with it. Opinions is what makes the world go round. Sadly for you, though, the above are facts, not my opinions :p

no just joking…

Ok bye.

Dylan